Sunday, March 16, 2014

The Best Batman!

As not a single 55 people who have viewed my blog yet have commented an idea for what I should discuss, I have chosen a controversial topic that affects us all: Batman. Now, since Adam West first donned the cape and cowl, climbed buildings, and danced, there have been a LOT of different people who have played the Dark Knight: some did well, and some were George Clooney. Thus, I have decided to rank the actors who have portrayed the protector of Gotham, from best to Clooney. To decide this, I used the following criteria: their Batman performance, their Bruce Wayne performance, and the quality of their movies.

1. Michael Keaton

Surprised? You shouldn't be.  The man ROCKED it as Batman.  Sure, he couldn't move his neck side to side, and sure, his suit made moving difficult, but he had awesome gadgets, and got to beat up Jack Nicholson and Danny Devito.   Plus, he was the first big screen adaptation of Batman (I don't really count Adam West's movie version as "big screen"), and made the character work in the eclectic world of Tim Burton.  As an added plus, you could ACTUALLY understand everything he was saying, unlike Christian Bale, who I wanted to throw a Ricola at him every time he spoke.
As for his Bruce Wayne:

It worked too! He did a great job portraying the fun, easygoing billionaire.   This was a stark contrast to his Batman persona, which I feel is extremely important: if they are too similar, it seems like he doesn't care if people find out.  He is also the only Batman to wear prescription glasses on screen, and as a fellow glasses wearer, I approve.
Made $251,188,924 in 1989 alone!
Made $162,831,698 in 1992, just
 in the US
The most annoying thing I hear about the Batman movies is this: "Christopher Nolan's movies were better and made more money".  While they may have made a ton of cash off of his movies, there is one fact that remains: the movies that sold the most MOVIE TICKETS overall were those made by...wait for it...TIM BURTON! Ticket prices back in 1989 were a LOT less expensive (just about $4 each), than the present, which usually costs near to your life savings if you want a box of Gummi Bears too. If enough people read this, I will continue my list with #2...who will it be? Adam West? Val Kilmer? Christian Bale? George Clooney? Probably not George Clooney...We shall see.

Friday, March 14, 2014

Hello!

Hi! So I had an old blog, and I abandoned it for two reasons: nobody read it and I completely forgot where it is...thus, this new blog was born! I have a unique point of view on basically everything from gummy candy, pedestrians, PEZ dispensers, practically every topic under this wacky sun of ours. If you would like to hear my opinion in a fun and uplifting way concerning any topic of your choice, comment below... I will try and make it whimsical, funny, and informative. May the force be with you. Oh, and here's a picture of an Ewok.